*Bangs head against brick wall*

Sooo... it's been a long weekend. Fun but long. Yesterday I had my free day when Grace goes out with her dad. I promised myself I would use the time wisely and do some reading for the new Uni course I am starting this week. However my friend's birthday party complete with bouncy castle changed my mind quite quickly so off we went to that. It was a really lovely day and I spoke to some friends I haven't spoken to in a while and just had a generally nice time.

I got in just before Grace was due back and did a wee bit of tidying and then there was a knock at the door. Her dad told me she had cut her face falling over and I had a look and the poor little thing had grazed all the side of her face and her eye.

More of my friends came round a bit later for a barbeque. After one of them getting his bum stuck in the seesaw (which I missed!) and then dropping his burger on the floor and talking about finding dead bodies and plane crashes they went home and I decided to call it a night and got into bed. I went on Facebook and I thought, for some reason, that I would add my ex back to my friends list. It has been over 3 weeks, I'm done being angry and a bit childish and if he didn't want to accept me that was fine.

Turned the laptop of, snuggled up, then my phone goes off. It was about 12.30 by now so wondered who was texting. Oh a number I didn't have saved? Oh.... my ex. He had text me to ask why I added him back. I just told him I did and he didn't have to accept if he didn't want to. Cue 2 and a half hour long conversation. Which started with him replying to that message to tell me he can't stop thinking about me. I told him I knew he had spoken to my sister. Then he went on to say he was feeling crap and lonely and was having a rubbish time of it but that he deserved it because he let me go. And at that point I did feel slightly smug because I am just really happy and feeling good right now. Which I guess is a bit mean. He asked had I met anyone and I told him about my adventure of the other night and he said he was jealous (too right he should be) and we just bantered a bit. He said he had today off and he wanted to come and see me. He won't but I told him he is welcome to see me if he wants. Then he told me he wants me and he still loves me. At which point I think I actually screamed aloud. Really don't want to go back to all that again, telling me all of that and then saying "but I can't be with you." I would rather he shut his gob and was just happy being friends with me.

I realised life is too short to stay angry at people. And I didn't want to be angry at him. And I'm in a really good place at the minute in terms of where my head is at so I would really like it if we could be friends. I've come to see that actually, I don't have to rely on one guy because there are actually other ones out there who for some reason find my attractive. Like I said though, he won't come and see me but hey, that's his loss not mine, I'm just going to carry on with my day like I was going to anyway (quietly) and try not to draw too much public attention to Grace who now has a black eye from her fall yesterday...