Blah blah blah blah BLAH

Rather interesting night last night. It started off with bowling. I am shockingly bad at bowling. Like really. And I lost the first game. Of course. I blame the hype of drinking Red Bull for my failings. And the fact that the stupid ball broke my nail. However I DID win the second game. Because someone else took my go for the first four go's. But whatever, I still won.

So after a Red Bull and two (free) shots later we did a round the world trip before finally getting into town. We headed straight for The Krazyhouse mainly because we were far too sober and were freezing our arses off so we legged it upstairs and pretty much jumped on the bar. So we're dancing away, trying to find a spot where there wasn't a crazy topless fat kid attempting to start a mosh pit (and failing miserably) and carried on our merryness, drinks in hand. One of my friends was also out and wanted to know where we were so I text her to tell her. But realised that I accidently text my ex who was next to her in my recent contacts list. About a minute later I got a reply saying he was also in the same club. Brilliant. I look up from my phone and who do I see in front of me through the crowd with his "best friend ex"? Double brilliant. At this point I decided anger wasn't the way forward as the bouncers can get a bit scary so I approached with a smile and a hug and after the "how are you's" I carried on dancing with my friends, drinking slightly faster than usual. Every so often I could see him looking at me through the corner of my eye so I tried my best to get out of his eye range.

Slightly drunk, I went back to the bar, got impatient at having to wait so sat at the side and waited there for a friend to bring me my drink (not technically slavery) and what do I see but my ex up on the podium all over some girl, who from what I could see was pretty ugly. I tend to be an emotional drunk so it was no wonder that that kind of sent me over the edge a little. I needed a bit of a time out and I asked my friends if they would ask if he would come and talk to me as I didn't want to ask because he was with his friends and they don't like me (God knows why, I'm amazing) but he went missing so I just sat with my thoughts away from the dancefloor for a minute.

No sooner had I sat down when two quite yummy guys came over and sat at the bench with me. One of them was perving through the girls toilets but the other, the one sat next to me started talking to me. He was southern irish so I couldn't understand a word he was saying but I smiled and nodded and told him why I was sitting there on my own. After a few minutes he leaned over and held my arm and said in my ear "Well if you don't want your ex, come and find me." and the second he pulled away I saw my ex standing behind us. Score. Anyway he then came and sat down to speak to me. And that's when, like a drunken fool, I cried. Literally properly, like when kids fall over and cut their knees except it was less funny than that. And he got hold of me and just hugged me and kissed the top of my head. I pulled away and started spouting off nonsense and he said "But I do love you..." to which I replied something along the lines of "STOP SAYING THAT!" maybe not as politely. Then he said he had to go and so he left. Also I should mention at this point I had noticed his "best friend ex" sitting behind me snogging the face off some guy that I can only assume was a new boyfriend as they were all hanging around together. Which made me deeply happy and slightly smug...

Anywho as he left another cute guy came and sat next to me. I was starting to think I should sit on that bench more often when I go there from now on. He was wearing a furry hat (?) and I think his name was Joe... he was talking to me for a bit and then one of my friends came over so he said bye and went back upstairs. But I then realised I had unknowingly turned two guys away so I went on a hunt. Whilst on this hunt some guy came up to my friend and told her his friend liked redheads with big boobs to which she told him her boyfriend was up on the next floor. Not that this put him off and he insisted her boyfriend wouldn't find out. So we left. Only in some magical way, they then both appeared at the bottom of the stairs to the next floor before we got there despite leaving before them. They were both ugly anyway but the guy then said if she didn't want to then I would do. You can imagine where I told them to shove that offer.

Irish guy was nowhere to be found. But eventually I found hat guy and asked him if I could wear said hat. And I did. He was from down south so a little easier to understand and he did tell me he loved my accent and that it reminded him of Brookside, which I didn't really know how to take so I just laughed. So I was talking and dancing with hat guy (although I still had the hat on so he was just reall 'guy') having a bit of a laugh and who should walk right past us but the ex... he smiled and gave me back an encouraging rub to the back. But it was obviously fake smile if I ever saw one. Score. Again. Hat guy then had to go and search for his lost friends, one of whom was called Waffle which was interesting. So determined to not let my ex ruin anymore of my night I carried on dancing, upgrading myself to podium level after the vodka had caught me up.

It was getting late by then so we left to get a taxi home. I looked at my phone to check the time and I had a message off him saying to text him when I got back. So I did and I went off on one about this and that, probably sounding even more stupid than I had looked earlier when I had spoken to him. I told him I hated that I loved him which apparently made him sad. He actually apologised for leaving me sat on the bench and told me that it was hurting him too even if I didn't think it. Eventually I did stop being an idiot and stopped texting him and went to sleep. I say sleep I fell asleep around 5.30am and woke about 6.30am.

He text me again today saying how he didn't understand me because one minute I'm a complete bitch and the next I'm being nice to him, that he wishes he didn't care so much and that he doesn't not feel anything for me. Then he said when he saw me last night and he said hello I was aggressive. Now, I know I was a bit tipsy but I was not that drunk and I know that when I saw him I waved and gave him a hug. Nothing aggressive about that surely? But he said he meant after that I was standing with a negative posture...? What? I was dancing and even if I did I doubt it was intentional. I then told him the reason I went to the bench was because of the girl he was all over and I didn't really want to sit and watch it. But apparently it was his friends cousin and she had a boyfriend so that was 'ok' and he wasn't ever going to pull anyone that night. Then he said "I'm sure you weren't short of offers." Ooh... ouch on his part. Jealous much. So I text him back and said that yes, I had had plenty of offers thanks. And I haven't heard back. Ha.

While I was doing all this texting I was on my way back to town with my friends (token gay and token ginger) for shopping this time. First awesome thing of the day. We found Superman tshirts in Primark and we got them, even though they were in mens sizes, I still had to have one. Then with our shades on we wandered to a very odd shop. Where there was two men on the door there to greet you. Pretty much topless. They were wearing open jackets but nothing underneath. And their six packs... WOW. I almost melted a bit so we went inside quick. It was a bizzarre shop and none of the clothes had a price on so for this reason we left and got to walk past the hot guys again who said bye to us as we went (by this time we were drooling slightly). Second highlight of the day after the Superman tshirt.

But now I am on a Red Bull comedown and waiting for my darling child to come back from her day with her father. Definately an early night for me. And strictly NO texting. Until I cave in and do it again anyway. I am an A class prat, seriously.