My name is Becki and I am officially insane

Well. Now. Let me see. It's been a slow day. It's Mothers Day apparently. Pretty much means "your average day" in this house. Breakfast in bed with a side order of a giant bouquet and a card from my loving daughter? A chance to put my feet up and let someone else dress her and feed her and entertain her.... Not happening. Instead I was woken at 6.20am by her growling at me and kicking her door in. She then went ahead to throw my new highlighter pens down the toilet and cover herself and the bathroom in moisturising lotion. I had no breakfast. Infact I didn't even have lunch on account of every time I left the room she yelled incoherently for me to change the channel because she wasn't satisfied with what I had put on for her. Happy Mothers day to me! Well, to be fair I did get a card and some flowers off my mum from Grace but that was pretty much as much as a Mothers day as I got.

Anyway, I was only really coming on to say that I eventually got a reply to my email to my ex (although I DID have to send yet another one to "jog his memory") It basically said, he loves me but doesn't think it will go anywhere because I have bad mood swings so if I want to be with him I have to sort my head out first. Charming. Ok, I agree, my mood swings are pretty bad. I wish I could deny it. And ok, yes I DO need to sort my head out. But, seriously, I said all that stuff and that's all I get in response? Don't know why I even bother my arse. A new motto: Don't make someone a priority when they only make you an option. Definately works here. I'm done with focusing so much of my "emotional side" on him. I would really rather he turned round and told me to shove it rather than beating around the bush with "I love you but..." there shouldn't really be a 'but' there. You either love someone or you don't.

On another note though, I managed to put up my desk yesterday. Alone. And I am still alive and nobody was hit across the head with a flying spanner thrown from my bedroom window. However, possibly due to the sheer delusion caused by what I can only describe as the most debilitating cold ever in the history of the world, I spent an hour talking to the desk components and the bolts as if they were actual people. And, mainly though, talking to myself. Cursing the stupid Allen key ("Who the f*ck invented this stupid thing? Whoever it was needs shooting.") Cursing the bolts when they wouldn't fit the hole ("Oh for christ's sake, I am fed up with all these stupid design flaws.") Cursing the spanner ("Seriously, what is the point of this spanner? What the hell is a spanner even for? What a useless excuse for a tool.") Pretty much just cursing everything but occasionally, when I got it right, giving myself, and the desk, a pat on the back.

Anyway I must take my crazy ass self off to, well, do whatever it is I do. Which for one, is NOT text or contact my ex. I think it's time I give up the chase. For now. My willpower is second to none. Actually, it's none, But I can do this. I think. God, I blame these flu tablets. These, erm, non-drowsy flu tablets...

Could someone please just come over to mine and punch me in the face now please? Thanks.