Ouch, ouch, OUCH!

Jesus Christ! I have done nothing but hurt so far today! This morning when I woke up I noticed I had somehow managed to cut my thumb on a joint so when I bend it it stings. Ouch number one. Then I went to the doctors to have my blood tests done. I went in praying I didn't faint. I did once but in all fairness they did come at me like vampires and literally drained me dry. Ok, well they took four test tubes but still, that's a lot of blood, blood that is supposed to be IN me, not in a tube. Anyway, she took three and I didn't faint. I almost did but I started talking about mindless nonsense to keep myself in focus. Ouch number 2.

Afterwards I took my dear daughter to the park. But she just wanted to constantly go on the slide. Which meant having to life her with a very sore arm. Ouch number 3. She almost had an ouch herself, willingly walking in front of a girl on the swing. And I have just spent the last 20 minutes trying to get my plaster off the area they took my blood from. Only it was stuck down with masking tape for some odd reason which in turn had in such a short space of time actually appeared to have formed into and become part of my own skin. And the hairs on my arm. The removal of this was actually more painful than the injection itself. But I finally managed it despite it hurting like hell. Ouch number 4.

And, possibly the biggest ouch out of them all, ouch number 5... You know what's coming right? Well I text my ex last night to ask if he was actually going to turn up tonight (despite HIM being the one who asked ME if he could come) and he said he would "try" and would ask his dad as he has no car at the minute so his dad is acting as chauffeur. So I text him again this morning (yes, I know I'm sad) and asked if he would let me know as soon as possible if he was coming round. Because I'm not waiting up for him to decide last minute he isn't going to bother. I got no reply so figured he was at work and hadn't had time to check his phone. So I get in and go on Facebook to find my newsfeed flooded with things written by him in the last hour. His profile picture had changed to him kissing his best friend (who is also his ex) on the head and his status was some oddness about living for love or something equally as random. Naturally I thought, for crying out loud, why am I such a frigging moron? So I text him again and said that it was obvious he had got my message but chosen not to reply. I told him I was done with all this, done with making an effort when he doesn't seem to care. And that I am obviously nothing to him and I'm just sorry that I wasted so much time believing that I was. And THEN he replied about his head being in the clouds and he would ask his dad about coming down now. That was almost an hour ago. I really am fed up with this. If he doesn't end up coming round tonight then that is IT. His ex is welcome to him. I have wasted far too much time on him, time I could have spent doing something worth while. I am pissed off to high heaven and I am so angry, not just at him but at myself, that I could kill somebody right now. Like literally kill them. I need to go out and get very very drunk. Any offers?